Thursday, June 23, 2011

Things My Heart Wants To Do But Are Not Acceptable In Polite Society (but i'll do them anyway)

-lie on the floor in a beautiful shop, hand in hand with an awesome friend, and stay and watch people go past
-play hide and seek in a shopping centre. be caught by security.
-play hide and seek in a shopping centre. don't be caught by security.
-play house in ikea
-befriend small children
-have picnics in awkward public spaces. with full silverware, china teapots and all.
-spend days just lying in the ground.
-run through the rain
-take lots of photos
-dress however i want. whenever i want.
-not worry about what others see when the look at me
-throw food at other people
-get messy
-have a harry potter stye duel with strangers
-be spontaneous
-take a train somewhere unfamiliar and spend the day there
-skip instead of walking
-dance and sing and enjoy music publicly, even if i'm the only one who can hear it
-make my own things instead of buying them
-walk barefoot through the city
-get thoroughly lost and emerge with cake and a smile
-draw my own map of the city
-find a place that is mine and only mine somewhere public
-roll down hills
-use playgrounds
-cook on a trangia in public, because i can and they can't
-learn to do something new
-find a way of earning money that i love to do
-take photos of anything and everything
-live each day fully in the moment, and finish each day with a smile on my face

Friday, March 25, 2011


This is now what I see when I open google:

Happiness is AFP on Google.

A Maximum Ride Series Playlist, in no particular order (yet)

When I find out where my copy of School's Out Forever went, I'm going to read the books again and annotate like crazy with songs. Until then, I'm putting the playlist up, in the hopes I can be bothered to sort it later.

Name                                                   Artist
All Summer                                            Kid Cudi, Best Coast and Rostam Batmanglij
Coin Laundry                                         Lisa Mitchell
Friends For Lovers                                 Brighten
Falling Out Of Love At This Volume       Bright Eyes
Heels Over Head                                   Boys Like Girls
God & Satan                                         Biffy Clyro
Brielle                                                   Sky Sailing
Idiot Heart                                            Sunset Rubdown
Come One, Come All                           All Time Low
Back of my Head.                                Short Stack
Icarus                                                  Jason Webley
Half Life                                              Imogen Heap
8 AM                                                 The Summer Obsession
How You Love Me Now                   Hey Monday
Tomorrow                                         Nic Cester
The Time Has Come                          The Dresden Dolls
Lyrical Lies                                        Cute Is What We Aim For
Burning Bridges                                  The Summer Obsession
Impossible Girl #1                              Kim Boekbinder
Behavior                                            Amanda Palmer
Science Is Golden                              The Grates
Don't Trust Me                                  3OH!3
Black Cat                                         Mayday Parade
Let Me Take You There                   Plain White T's
Break Up the Concrete                    The Pretenders
Dance, Dance                                 Fall Out Boy
Bubbles                                          Biffy Clyro
Every Me And Every You                Placebo
Chokechain                                     3OH!3
Clinton St. Girl                               Wakey!Wakey!
Baby Blue Eyes                            A Rocket To The Moon
Oh! Gravity                                   Switchfoot
2 Atoms In A Molecule                Noah And The Whale
Hero Heroine                               Boys Like Girls
Astronaut                                     Amanda Palmer
Oh, It Is Love                              Hellogoodbye
Not A Second To Waste              A Rocket To The Moon
Choose To Be Me                         Sunrise Avenue
Can't take it in                              Imogen Heap
Icarus Lives!                              Periphery
Double Knots                           You & Yourn
Dirty Business                            The Dresden Dolls
Runs In the Family                     Amanda Palmer
The Shake (Awful Feeling)          My American Heart
We Are Young                          3OH!3
On Invisible Wings                   Mikelangelo And The Black Sea Gentlemen
Awakening                              Switchfoot
Shut Up I Am Dreaming of Places Where Lovers Have Wings                Sunset Rubdown & Spencer Krug
Do You Remember                The Summer Obsession
Waking Up in Vegas                Katy Perry
Every Little Thing                   Tullycraft
Sticks & Stone                      J√≥nsi
In My Mind                           Amanda Palmer (Featuring Brian Viglione)
His Girl Friday                      The Academy Is...
Where's My Angel                Metro Station
Love Will Tear Us Apart       Evelyn Evelyn
Seventeen forever                 Metro Station
Day & Night                          Billie Piper
In Colour                              HeyHiHello!
All We Know                        Paramore
The Poison                           The All American Rejects
To The Sky                           Owl City
Know Your Enemy               Green Day
 Free Falling                          The Summer Obsession
Broken Leg                          Bluejuice
Corrosive                            The Summer Obsession
Baby We're Invincible          A Rocket To The Moon
Over My Head                    The Summer Obsession
Jump                                   Simple Plan
Fear Of Flying                    A Rocket To The Moon
Hurt                                    Johnny Cash
When I Grow Up                Garbage
The Point of It All                Amanda Palmer
Drumming Song                  Florence & The Machine
Jocasta                             Noah And The Whale
Where Is Your Boy Tonight?    Fall Out Boy
Alice (Underground)                Avril Lavigne
White Winter Hymnal               Fleet Foxes
Death Said                              The Summer Obsession
Cadence of Her Last Breath      Nightwish
The Sky!                                  The Junior Varsity
The Age Of The Understatement      The Last Shadow Puppets
Black Dress                               Kisschasy
Goodnight And Go                    Imogen Heap
7 Days To The Wolves              Nightwish
Firestarter                                  Dan Parsons
When I Think About Angels       Cute Is What We Aim For
Many Of Horror                         Biffy Clyro
Time to Wander                         Gypsy & The Cat
Christina                                    Zombina & the Skeletones
Famous Last Words                  My Chemical Romance
Bad Body Double                      Imogen Heap
Hymn for the Dead                    Anti-Flag
Starlight                                     Muse
Mountains                                  Biffy Clyro
Curse Of The Curves                Cute Is What We Aim For
Don't Quit! Not Quite!                HeyHiHello!
I Must Belong Somewhere          Bright Eyes
Bruises                                        Chairlift

Tuesday, March 15, 2011


I'm not brave. I'm not good in an emergency. I don't like that I'm this way, but I am, for now. In an emergency, I panic and almost start to shake. My knees feel as if they will buckle, and my hands tremble, especially if whatever I'm in the middle of is important/serious. Last year, when I stopped to help a mother whose little girl had just hit her head on a shop window, I almost couldn't get my phone out to call the ambulance the mother asked me to call in her hysteria. I couldn't tell them what street we were on, nor remember to stay on the line. My hysteria was a little more contained than the girl's mother's , but it was certainly there- I was still shaking hours later. But the one thing I did do right was stop. 

Today, on my way home from university with my friend, I was almost run over by a person on a bike. At the same time, we passed a girl who looked to be about 15- she was barefoot, clad only in a blue nightgown and a hospital blanket, a strange expression on her face, walking at a slow, steady pace. This scene taking place about 400 metres from the Royal Women's Hospital is something that should alert most people to the fact that something is wrong. But I saw her, and like the other pedestrians around us, I did not stop to help. My friend, however, is braver than I, and once she registered what she had seen, she turned us back towards the girl and asked her if she was okay. She barely looked up, mumbled responses and never stopped walking. We took this as a bad sign- my friend also noted her lips were blue- and walked back as fast as we could to the hospital in order to alert someone to her location. We got our message across, and left. But I cannot help thinking that if I had been alone, I would probably have walked right by, knowing that I should have stopped. I am not brave. And I should be.


I want to make something here. I want my words to be read, and have some meaning. What this is:
  • A rant space
  • A squee space
  • An adore space
  • A hate space
  • A place to outpour myself when too much is inside
  • A beautiful mess
  • Unordered
  • A part of me
It doesn't necessarily have a point, or make sense to others, but it is what it is. I think I need to put some of the thoughts and feelings I find myself pushing aside in a receptacle other than my brain, or surely I will go mad. Well, madder. 

Sunday, February 20, 2011

I Am Number Four- a movie review

I was a huge fan of the book when it first came out. I passed it on to my brother, and he loved it too. And then I heard it was going to be a movie, and I squee'd. And then I heard it was going to star Alex Pettyfer, and I almost keeled over with glee. Surely, this was going to be the best movie of the year.
The best part was, i was going to get to see it for free.
So I recruited my friend, who has a car and is legally allowed to drive it, to come with me. We got thoroughly lost there and back, because it was on the other side of town, but we persisted, and we found ourselves at an unfamiliar cinema, lined up with a whole bunch of people who, like us, were lucky enough to score advance screening tickets. In we went, toting our (not free) popcorn and drinks, and sat down to await the movie.

It was a good movie. Personally, I thought Alex Pettyfer was a bit old for the role he was playing, and some parts were altered significantly to fit into the reduced storytelling capacities of the medium of film, but overall it was reasonably faithful to the book and had all the right elements to appeal to each member of the audience- romance, drama, action and aliens, all pieced together and scattered throughout, just like in the book. The cast members are not people I would have chosen for their roles in general, but that always seems to be the case in adaptations- nobody ever  looks just how you thought they should. And the special effects were interesting, if not particualrly unique. Overall, I do reccommend you go see it if you're a fan of the book, or any James Patterson YA novels, and I did end up enjoying it despite its flaws.

Here's the trailer, if you're interested:

Thursday, February 10, 2011

The craziest facebook conversation ever thrust upon me

The person who initiated this conversation is a friend of my best friend (J). I've never actually met the friend (R) , but somehow she became convinced I was not really me, but J. What follows is unedited, except to replace names and clarify.  

Is this J

it's grace
but i'm J's friend

Grace in year

finished yr 12

Oh ok sorry thorught u were her foR some reson

:P:P easy enough i suppose
but don't we have diffeernt names?

I don't know lol

that's okay


[At this point, I decided just to mess with her a little, since she was already suspicious about my identity. Then the fun really began.]

actually, i am her

Who r u really

Serious who r u

really i'm me

Ok bye
Thanks for lying

 [I am now talking with J, and we decide this is too funny to let it end here]

but no, i'm not J

Then who the fuck r u

i told you
i'm grace, her friend
and life partner


never mind

Can u just tell me the truth

[What probably amuses me most is that 95% of what I tell her is entirely true]

but i am!
i'm not her, but i'm her friend
ask her the next time you see her

Really then why do have a picture of her shoes

[J and I own a pair each of identical purple converse with matching laces]

her shoes?
can you show me?
are you in her year?

On ur profile pics thing don't and why would I tell u my year

but you're in yr 9 at [school] with her right?

I don't know cos I Lyie

and her shoes?
they're mine!
we match :):)

There yours
Yeh what's ebbed

no, really, we have the same shoes on purpose

Don't worry see ya tomorrow lyre

i don't understand!
i truly am confused

Stop talking to me

[around this time, I was also tag-teamed by R's friend X. This friend has a history of disliking me, since she maintains it is my fault she receives notifications about games I play, despite my telling her how to fix the problem. X asks me where I'm from, how old I am, and generally swears at me maintaining that I'm lying about my identity. I want to keep R in conversation for as long as possible, as J and I are becoming more and more amused by their general behaviour. J has decided to tell them I have hacked her Facebook, though how this would result in me not being me I have no idea. Of course, they believe it.]

but you started the conversation!

Ok bye p

well, i really am not J


okay, bye
but i'm still not sure who you are exactly

[I think R interprets this as a grab for information, as if I were some sort of internet pervert. You know, as if all the information I could ever want wasn't stored on her profile]

Get lost

i'm not asking you to tell me, just making a statement
and that's rude, you know

[I decided at this point that I would deal with her in the manner in which I dealt with childhood bullies- pointing out the flaws in her arguments, as well as her manners, spelling and grammar]

Don't care cos u r a lyier wanna kn who I am go in my profile

i know your name, i'm simply unsure how i know you in the first place
but i don't expect you to answer

I'm R
I dint know

i know you're R
it says so
just like i'm grace
i guess through J

Yeh she said she haked ur fb

how curious
i guess we're both on at the same timeiqwVED;uikBFD;f'

Who me

the virus



What the he'll r u talking bout

oh, ignore the random letter thing, my computer just does that sometimes


viruses are awful

I'm gonna go bye I'm tired

oh, are you friends with someone named X?


she was talking to me and you were mentioned
i'm not sure how i know her either
Oh yeh I am what did she say

she just said that she wanted to know how i knew you too
i just thought it was strange that you both were asking me the same questions

Ok i really don't know who u r
Why dint u have pics of urself of ur profile

because i'm insecure about my body
but there are tagged pics by other people

I want to see who u r
How do u know J

we're best buddes :):)
and there are pics of me tagged somewhere
i suppose if you were looking you'd be able to find them
it's all on my profile, like you said before
i'm quite fond of this one though
[link to genuine but indistinguishable picture]

Ok in gonna go bye

we're having an exchange of information

Ok I'm tiers

tiers? why, what a terrible accident that must have been!
how does one split oneself into tiers anyway?

Omg ur dumb

me? why? unless you meant tears...

I ment tierd

then i suppose you could construe my reaction as 'dumb', but it was really an honest mistake
tiered? past tense?
you mean you're no longer in tiers?  [badum-dum]

I dint care

[When all else fails, confuse people with intrinsic vocabulary]

i'm not sure i can discern your meaning

I don't care
Tell someone that cares

oh, i understand now
thanks for clearing that up!
what an awful misunderstanding we had there

Ur gay

excuse me?


i actually find such use of the term offensive
no need to be rude

Well stop acting dumb

i'm not acting 'dumb', as you put it

I'm going ur a Waste of time

again, i'm offended
first you begin a conversation, accuse me of being somebody else, and you insult me!

I'm so deleting u as a friend
R has gone ashore.11:05pm

if that's the way you feel, you can do what you wish 
Your chat message wasn't sent because Ruby is offline.
[I then sent this as a message to her inbox, and she returns, still thinking I'm J playing an extravagant joke]
Ruby be on board11:06pm

Ok whatever I'm sorry ok
Bye bye see u tomorrow   
well, i won't but i'm sure you''l see J
Ruby has gone ashore.11:08pm

This conversation lasted over half an hour, and she still believes I'm J. 
So far, she has not followed through in her defriending. 

Saturday, January 22, 2011

not what you read but where you read it challenge (

Twist Your House
Place of Commerce- Completed- 20 minutes in my local shopping centre while eating lunch, and the rest at uni. A university is a place of commerce, I think :P 
Move- Completed- I read on the way home from the city in the train, despite its crowdedness 
Nature- 15 mins on the grass under a tree, 10 mins with my back resting on a prickly bush...
You Don't Call Home- Completed- I finished a book (The Dead and the Gone by Susan Pfeffer- thoroughly recommend this series, btw) in the waiting room of the hospital while waiting to get my wisdom teeth out.
Probably Shouldn't- 20 mins of reading on my ipad in a thoroughly uninteresting lecture.
In Pairs- Completed- I read the short story collection we're supposed to be reading for university this year on the plane on my recent holiday to Queensland, alongside my brother, who was reading the latest interest of his.